About three, maybe four months ago, Burger King's ad company, Crispin and Bojusky, unleashed a new ad blitz to promote their new sandwiches and titled the new segments...

"Wake Up With the King."

The first of these ads was a guy waking up in the morning, rolling over and finding himself face to face with the BK icon from the early '80s. In this ad, "which has some serious gay overtones," the BK icon comforts the man by handing him their new Double Crossandwich.

Has anyone else seen these commercials? Have you SEEN the Burger King character they are using? No? Well here he is...

The King... Mocking me, invading my dreams and turning them into nightmares. What evil madness has Burger King delivered upon us poor, helpless TV folk? What kind of heartless ad whiz at Crispin Porter and Bogusky would ever think of reinventing an ?80s icon in plastic and place it upon an actor's head to make them look like some freakish Pez dispenser?

Last month they released a third ad directed by David LaChapplle, who is known for Gwen Stefani's "Rich Girl" video. BK's Oz inspired ad features Darius Rucker of Hootie and the Blowfish stooping down low wearing a cowboy suit and singing a parody song about the new Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich and big cabooses (you have to see the two women on the pump car; one of which is FHM's Vida Guerra with her famous backside clearly labeled).

During the song members of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders kick up a storm like Adam Vinatieri under flurry of falling scratch/lottery tickets, several cowboys/male models eat sandwiches while flirting with various women, the most memorable of the male models are twins eating sandwiches, and behind them there are French fries rising up in the background with some serious sexual overtones.

There's also a woman plucking a sandwich from a tree, and she's rumored to be either porn star Jenna Jamenson or Paris Hilton in a bad wig. The woman looks more like "Showgirls" Elizabeth Berkley to me although it's neither of the three. To finish out the ad, they have super hottie Brooke Burke on a swing holding a TBCR sandwich and yelling out .

"Come and git it!"

Now see, they could have ended this acid inspired ad here, but instead they have to show us that the King is actually the guy pushing Burke on the swing.

This weekend, the terror got worse in their newest commercial... A guy wakes up, climbs out of bed, walks to the window and pulls up the shade to unveil who?

You guessed it! I damn near fell out of my bed when I saw this commercial, it spooked the hell out of me so bad, and when he hands the guy their newest Enormous Omelet sandwich from behind his back, it reminds me of some crystal meth addict making a buy. What could possibly be worse...

What if they made the King speak, and only allowed his jaw to drop, then he would look like some spooky Jib-Jab reject.

Oh, the horror!

So, since these ads affected me so much, I decided to ask some people what they thought about the ads and here's what I found out.

"Not even funny. VERY creepy. Reminded me of the ?Scream? or ?Clowns? movies. A Creepy, scary man dressed up with a painted on freakish smile, stalking the guy. Just waiting for the right moment to shove a sandwich down his throat. 'Eat this or suffer the wrath of the BK KING.' Very disturbing commercials."

Betty Arbia
Brockton, MA.

"The scariest one is right after the guy sees the King in the distance, he looks back to see his wife in the house, and when he looks again, the King is directly in front of him. If that happened to me, the last thing I would do is think, ?I bet this sandwich is delicious, let me try it!? I'd probably throw the dog in the King's direction as a distraction, knock my wife over while running, waving my hands in the air, and screaming like a girl. Think George Costanza in Seinfeld when he thought a fire broke out at the kid's birthday party."
Morning Show DJ Ramiro Torres w/Pebbles and Melissa
WJMN 94.5

"Watching these commercials has the opposite affect of enticing me to want to go to Burger King. I now close my eyes when even driving by a Burger King. I refuse to spend one red cent in a BK. So Keith if we're out and about some time and we need to stop for a quick bite and you decide to go to BK... I'll be waiting in the truck with the doors locked just in case BK man should make an unexpected guest appearance at our local BK."
Girlfriend Marion Bentz
Seekonk, MA

"The world of advertisement is full of surprises and will always bewilder people. That's what it's all about."


"To be honest it is probably one of the best ad campaigns around, and people are talking about it. Talk about free advertising. Some ads are not to make you enjoy the ad but to be grated a bit about it like this one for a product they already know you enjoy. The purpose of the ad is to keep your mind on the business so that you will frequent them more often. This seems to be working in this case."

Jay Jr.

"The man with the plastic head and tights scares the ba-jesus out of me... I'm waiting for the guy to whip out a knife and start hacking away at people, man I dunno but I haven't seen anything this disturbing since the Robert Blake press conference."


"This really creeped me out the first time I saw it and didn't get any better the next few times. What the hell were they thinking? This would improves sales? What is in that sandwich? Or who? It's almost as bad as waking up and finding Michael Jackson next to you. Kids (and adults) all across America are looking under their beds with trepidation. BK has succeeded in only one thing, creating the first daymare."


"Honestly I think I would rather see John Wayne Gacey dressed up as the clown then see that Burger King commercial again."

Thanks to those who sent in their thoughts, and remember... The King is watching!

Comments? Hit me up: Sinista1@msn.com