Waking up with the King
- By Keith Hayes
- Published 04/7/2005
- Football
- Unrated
Keith Hayes
Keith Hayes got his love for writing in the 6th grade where he began writing sci-fi stories for classmates and friends, while continuing to write over the years as a personal hobby.
In 1991 after purchasing WebTV, he caught the Internet bug and began writing on various message boards and newsgroups under the pseudonym Mista Sinista. His posts became popular as he covered movie reviews, the New England Patriots, WCW and WWE (formerly WWF) wrestling. Just do a Google search for Mista Sinista or Sinista1 under groups, and you'll discover enough material to read for months.
As his debating talents developed online, he became vocal in his local newspaper, the Enterprise. He began submitting Letters to the Editor, and most of his pieces were printed on a regular basis. He also had similar success with his letters to the early years of Patriots Football Weekly. After generating some buzz and catching the eyes of readers, Keith was contacted to write for wrestling web site Wrestlenutz.com. He was then later contacted to write for a New England Patriots fan website PatriotsFootball.com, which is now known as PatsFans.com.
When covering the Pats, Keith kept his Mista Sinista attitude and reviewed the games with his "tell it like it is" style. The Patriots experience soon took off, and allowed him to meet various players, travel to a Pro Bowl in Hawaii, a Super Bowl in New Orleans, several away games in the Meadowlands, and some great games in Foxboro, where he has been a season ticket holder since 1990.
Today, he covers the New England Patriots for eSports and as a 12th Man correspondent for PatsFans.com. You can read his political and local debates on his hometown site Brockton Forums. But for a real treat, you can also see the twisted side on his moniker web site Sinista1.com, where he has some great spoofs like "Barbie and Ken's True Hollywood Story," and "Celebrity Survivor."
Most recently, Keith has become a co-host on two hit radio shows at WXBR 1460 AM in Brockton (formerly WBET). On Fridays, Keith can be heard during the "On the Mark PI Show," with his host Private Investigator Mark Chauppetta, who has his own reality television show in negotiations, and a role in the upcoming horror film Frightworld where he plays an FBI Agent hunting a serial killer who has killed his wife.
Keith is now following in his host’s footsteps after scoring a part in Walt Disney's upcoming movie "The Game Plan," starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. In the movie, Keith plays a football player on QB Joe Kingman’s (Dwayne's character) Boston Rebels rival team the New York Dukes. Also joining Keith on the show is defense attorney Ken Diesenhof, and Brockton Police Officer Frank "Czman".
On Saturdays, Keith can be heard during "Krashing Into the Bigfield/The Lock Up" from noon to 4 p.m. talking sports with Enterprise writer Kevin Tocci, and aspiring actor Tom Mariano, cousin to "Boston Rob" of "Survivor/Amazing Race" fame. The show also features guests Matt Futrell, Peter Czymbor, Dennis Harris, and is produced by former Indie wrestler Mike Pavia. The South Shore Sports Show is growing, as the first two hours cover sports (professional and local), while the second two hours cover the best talk in professional and Indie wrestling.
"Wake Up With the King."
The first of these ads was a guy waking up in the morning, rolling over and finding himself face to face with the BK icon from the early '80s. In this ad, "which has some serious gay overtones," the BK icon comforts the man by handing him their new Double Crossandwich.
Has anyone else seen these commercials? Have you SEEN the Burger King character they are using? No? Well here he is...
The King... Mocking me, invading my dreams and turning them into nightmares. What evil madness has Burger King delivered upon us poor, helpless TV folk? What kind of heartless ad whiz at Crispin Porter and Bogusky would ever think of reinventing an ?80s icon in plastic and place it upon an actor's head to make them look like some freakish Pez dispenser?
Last month they released a third ad directed by David LaChapplle, who is known for Gwen Stefani's "Rich Girl" video. BK's Oz inspired ad features Darius Rucker of Hootie and the Blowfish stooping down low wearing a cowboy suit and singing a parody song about the new Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch sandwich and big cabooses (you have to see the two women on the pump car; one of which is FHM's Vida Guerra with her famous backside clearly labeled).
During the song members of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders kick up a storm like Adam Vinatieri under flurry of falling scratch/lottery tickets, several cowboys/male models eat sandwiches while flirting with various women, the most memorable of the male models are twins eating sandwiches, and behind them there are French fries rising up in the background with some serious sexual overtones.
There's also a woman plucking a sandwich from a tree, and she's rumored to be either porn star Jenna Jamenson or Paris Hilton in a bad wig. The woman looks more like "Showgirls" Elizabeth Berkley to me although it's neither of the three. To finish out the ad, they have super hottie Brooke Burke on a swing holding a TBCR sandwich and yelling out .
"Come and git it!"
Now see, they could have ended this acid inspired ad here, but instead they have to show us that the King is actually the guy pushing Burke on the swing.
This weekend, the terror got worse in their newest commercial... A guy wakes up, climbs out of bed, walks to the window and pulls up the shade to unveil who?
You guessed it! I damn near fell out of my bed when I saw this commercial, it spooked the hell out of me so bad, and when he hands the guy their newest Enormous Omelet sandwich from behind his back, it reminds me of some crystal meth addict making a buy. What could possibly be worse...
What if they made the King speak, and only allowed his jaw to drop, then he would look like some spooky Jib-Jab reject.
Oh, the horror!
So, since these ads affected me so much, I decided to ask some people what they thought about the ads and here's what I found out.
"Not even funny. VERY creepy. Reminded me of the ?Scream? or ?Clowns? movies. A Creepy, scary man dressed up with a painted on freakish smile, stalking the guy. Just waiting for the right moment to shove a sandwich down his throat. 'Eat this or suffer the wrath of the BK KING.' Very disturbing commercials."
Betty Arbia
Brockton, MA.
"The scariest one is right after the guy sees the King in the distance, he looks back to see his wife in the house, and when he looks again, the King is directly in front of him. If that happened to me, the last thing I would do is think, ?I bet this sandwich is delicious, let me try it!? I'd probably throw the dog in the King's direction as a distraction, knock my wife over while running, waving my hands in the air, and screaming like a girl. Think George Costanza in Seinfeld when he thought a fire broke out at the kid's birthday party."
Morning Show DJ Ramiro Torres w/Pebbles and Melissa
WJMN 94.5
"Watching these commercials has the opposite affect of enticing me to want to go to Burger King. I now close my eyes when even driving by a Burger King. I refuse to spend one red cent in a BK. So Keith if we're out and about some time and we need to stop for a quick bite and you decide to go to BK... I'll be waiting in the truck with the doors locked just in case BK man should make an unexpected guest appearance at our local BK."
Girlfriend Marion Bentz
Seekonk, MA
"The world of advertisement is full of surprises and will always bewilder people. That's what it's all about."
Capt
inBrockton.com
"To be honest it is probably one of the best ad campaigns around, and people are talking about it. Talk about free advertising. Some ads are not to make you enjoy the ad but to be grated a bit about it like this one for a product they already know you enjoy. The purpose of the ad is to keep your mind on the business so that you will frequent them more often. This seems to be working in this case."
Jay Jr.
inBrockton.com
"The man with the plastic head and tights scares the ba-jesus out of me... I'm waiting for the guy to whip out a knife and start hacking away at people, man I dunno but I haven't seen anything this disturbing since the Robert Blake press conference."
Brew-ski
Patriots.com
"This really creeped me out the first time I saw it and didn't get any better the next few times. What the hell were they thinking? This would improves sales? What is in that sandwich? Or who? It's almost as bad as waking up and finding Michael Jackson next to you. Kids (and adults) all across America are looking under their beds with trepidation. BK has succeeded in only one thing, creating the first daymare."
Kerouac
Patriots.com
"Honestly I think I would rather see John Wayne Gacey dressed up as the clown then see that Burger King commercial again."
70Dart
Patriots.com
Thanks to those who sent in their thoughts, and remember... The King is watching!
Comments? Hit me up: Sinista1@msn.com
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Waking up with the King