Dear Coach Caldwell,

I am, for better, but mostly worse, a season ticket holder for the Buffalo Bills. You know, that team on the east end of Lake Erie walking the tightrope between the NFL and CFL? The team that so adroitly severed ties with your General Manager Bill Polian? The team that saw your Indianapolis Colts removed from its division, only to be the recipient of biannual drubbings at the hands of your one time nemesis, the New England Patriots?

You remember us don't you? We're the team on which you're going to sic Curtis Painter and the rest of your practice squad on January 3. I know your conventional wisdom and Tony Dungy-tutelage are telling you that Peyton Manning has as good a chance of playing quarterback that Sunday as Jeff Saturday does, but let me appeal to your generous nature if I may. The fact of the matter is this – I'm going to be at that ice bucket known as Ralph Wilson Stadium as sure as you are, because that's what Bills fans inexplicably do, and I don't want to see your JV's play!

However, there's more to this ploy than gratuitous selfishness. You're chasing history dude! Quick, tell me who won the Super Bowl in '82, '89, '93, '98, and '04. Gotta Google it, don't you? Now tell me the teams who went undefeated throughout their whole season. That one's easy! Aren't you as sick as I am of Don Shula and Mercury Morris popping the bubbly every time the last undefeated team falls? You have the power to keep that champagne on ice… forever!

I know you've heard all the arguments about carrying momentum into the playoffs and the players wanting to play all 16 games.  hat's been said ad nauseam. Consider this – we have a uniquely challenging defense.

The Buffalo sack total is middle of the road, but their interception total is top of the heap. So you can safely assume that Manning won't get hurt by our non-existent pass rush, though they'll keep your offensive linemen on their toes. But, he just might face some athletes in our secondary that will help him stay sharp for the playoffs.

The Bills have also allowed opposing teams more offensive plays than any other team, so that will help your guys stay warm while reducing potential injuries for your defense (please, Tom Moore himself could strap on shoulder pads and shut down Terrell Owens for at least a half).

If nothing else, play Manning and the rest of your studs out of pity for the Bills fans. You think we're going there to watch Ryan Fitzpatrick? You played to win against Jacksonville and did just that.

Now go and beat the New York Jets, then come and beat us. Let your players play so we can at least be entertained while we attempt keep our eyelids from freezing shut. The Bills will fight to win that game and, if you play your B-squad, they will beat you. You'll lose your shot at history and we'll slip further down the draft board. Playing Peyton and the rest of your big guns is a win-win situation. 

And don't tell me Bill Polian, Pete Metzelaars, and Frank Reich don't have a little extra incentive to win this one!