Here it is, my little pretties. The time has finally arrived. The long wait is over. The hype that has enveloped our lives has dissipated, and now we can focus on the future and the excitement it will bring us. Breathe easy, for Johan Santana has finally been traded. I know, ordinarily I'd need a moment to compose myself. Yes, the New York Mets swooped in and put the days of rumors, refreshing ESPN.com every minute, day, week, until, well, it just sorta bored us.

Honestly, the news Santana was finally traded didn't even register with me. That was soooooo last December. The fact that he went to the National League made it less interesting than a good writers' strike debate. The additional fact that it went down on Media Day of the Super Bowl? Looks like someone's PR department is in need of Saturday detention.

In more stunning and important news, you'll have to forgive me for blowing it with last week's conference championship picks. Seems I misplaced the Crystal High Life Bottle at 25 cent wings the Thursday before the games. Sure, I had to pay a hefty ransom to retrieve it, but it was worth it, especially this week.

This week's Crystal High Life prediction is the, uh, Super Bowl of them all. This one takes a little more time, like Ma's homemade meatballs. There's no sense in just flying off the cuff. We'll need to explore the nuances of the bottle. We need to get to know it, see what it's all about, and then properly decipher it into coherent analysis and, ultimately, the correct outcome of Sunday's big football game. Let's do this.

New England Key Grips vs. New York Giants ... Beyond Thunderdome

We all know the basics here. The Giants have won 10 straight road games, including beating the Dallas Cowboys in Tony Romo's bachelor pad, then winning in the wind-chilled nonsense at Lambeau Field. Eli Manning is all growed up and stuff.

Meanwhile, the Patriots have played 18 games and won all of them. Pretty good average there. Quarterback Tom Namath, er, Brady, is the player any coach would want to have with the game on the line. He has three championship rings and photographs well holding small farm animals. All the girls want him and all the guys want to beat him up and take his girlfriend.

Folks not like me will look at the Week 17 matchup between these two teams as a preview of what's to come this Sunday in Glendale, AZ. Not me, says I, and here's why.

The Giants gave it all they could. They threw everything at the Patriots. They were playing at home, on more TV channels than the State of the Union and Britney Spears' coverage combined, with the nation watching. That was their chance to derail the only 16-0 regular season in NFL history. Rather than rest their players and get ready for the playoffs, head coach Tom Coughlin went for the throat… and, they still lost.

The Pats played it on the fine line that was playing for the perfect season and goofing off to get their names in the record books. Tom Brady threw for 356 yards, and was so determined to get Randy Moss his 23rd touchdown, he gunned the same bomb two plays in a row, daring the Giants to stop them. It was the big brother letting the little brother get oh-so-close to the top of the hill, before gently pushing him down ... by his forehead … until he bleeds a little.

People want to make a federal case of Brady's ankle, which I blame on bored sportswriters who go nutso during the two-week wait until the game. There I am trying to get all the dirt on Heath Ledger's final hours on TMZ.com, and I have to push aside video of Brady hoofing it around New York to bring his chick some flowers. There's no need for this. Dragging out the hype of the Super Bowl through a bye week is silly talk. It's a tired rant, and I'll spare you the entirety, as we've still got analyzing to do.

Every Sunday this past season, I woke up feeling fuzzy, watched the Stooges, hoped for more Curly's and no Joe's, went to breakfast, then watched the Patriots win. Life is simple sometimes. The Pats are playing an opponent for the second time in the same season, and I bet you could look up some important numbers that will show how much better they fare in Part Deux. Simple, like I said. I'll give you a moment to search for said stats…

This is how it breaks down. The Giants are a good team who are playing a hot hand. The Pats are a great team. They have the best coach, the best quarterback with the best girlfriend, the best organization, the hottest cheerleaders, the hairiest offensive linemen, and the best team authorized sausages: "Patriots' 1st Down Hot Dogs." Genius. The Giants ain't got no team meat for sale, now do they?

New York has been a good story, but come on. Maybe the two weeks gave folks a chance to brainstorm any reason how the Giants can pull this off. Look, I know upsets happen. But they're called upsets because they're not expected to occur. They are not the norm. They are rare.

Man, this is the longest I've ever dragged out such a simple prediction: Giants 24-… Whoops! As the kids say these days, "jk lol." … Pats 41-27.