Brian Simpson has returned to the padded room that is Boston area sports. His knowledge and insight of the Red Sox and Patriots is only surpassed by about 65% of the other fans in the area, but he has a laptop and you don't, so you will read every word he has to say. Heckling and job offers can be sent to: murphys1977@hotmail.com. Do you have most of your hair today? Do you have less than 20 extra pounds around your frame? Do you still have some shred of non-irritated nerves left? Can you look at a bottle or can and not twitch like Curly hearing "Pop Goes The Weasel?"
Congratulations, my friends, you have survived the holiday season. You've made it to the best day of winter, January 2nd. It's the Monday of the entire year, a time to shake the Etch-A-Sketch clear and begin making a brand new 12 month mess of it.
In the interest of overexposed storylines, I live in the Boston area and the sports scene is swell this season. During an especially smart trip to my local mall last December 23rd, I swung by the Best Buy, along with every single person in New Hampshire, saw the Boston Red Sox 2007 "Champions Again" DVD, and shrugged my shoulders, moving on to spend my money elsewhere. No, not even a stirring narration by Matt Damon could sway me. Sporting success, and a bunch of eating and drinking, has made me fat and happy.
Along with the Sox, the New England Patriots and the Boston Celtics have dominated the NFL and NBA, respectively. It's ridiculous, really. Part of the fun being a fan of these teams was the certain, um, patheticness of them. The Sox, pre-2004, would always come thisclose, etc., rip your heart out, blah, blah. The Patriots nearly left forwarding addresses in St. Louis, then Hartford, Conn. just 15 years ago. Celtic Pride meant cheering the loudest for the team to show some heart, almost win, and collect ping pong balls for the Greg Oden/Kevin Durant draft derby.
The new year is a good time to look backwards, forwards and sometimes sideways. You can turn the clock back, recall the memories, like possibly catching a reunion of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. You can look forward, perhaps something akin to firing up the new grill you got for your respective gift exchanging winter holiday of choice. You can look sideways, especially if you can't get off the couch all New Year's Day, which people I know may, or may not, have done.
Looking back is easy. It's putting on the shades and looking forward that scares me a little. Channeling my inner Coach Bill Belichick, the past is what it is. We know what happened before. We don't know what will happen next. It freaks me out. No major sports city has ever experienced this type of success before. What do you do when nothing is what it used to be?
The Boston Red Sox have won the World Series… Again! Three years ago, this would have given college kids, and the majority of fans, a reason to go sillypants, set things on fire, turn large objects over and create general chaos. This year felt like they punched their time card out for the season, raised a banner, and waited for the next shift. Oh, and they might open next season with Johan Santana, the league's best left-handed pitcher. Works for me.
The next time the Patriots lose will be the first time since last January's AFC Championship Game against the Indianapolis Mannings. It will shock me if said loss occurs before next fall. They're that good. No NFL team has ever gone 16-0 in the regular season before the '07 Pats. This is a monumental feat, people. The '85 Chicago Bears had a defense that would beat the snot out of you, then push your mom down a flight of stairs, but even they lost once. The '98 Minnesota Vikings scored just under 4,298 points, but still hiccupped in Week 9 to Tampa Bay. By Week 13 this year, I expected the Patriots to go undefeated. They had me turning their games off at halftime, bored out of my skull. Almost to the point where I want to read a book, or something. Almost.
The Boston Celtics have the best record in the NBA. Yeah, took me a second to let it sink in. This isn't some first week 3-0 start. This is a 26-3 record. This is better than the defending champion San Antonio Spurs. Better than the Dallas Mavericks. Better than all the other powerhouses we're used to watching in June basketball. They swept a four game western road trip.
Detractors say they have yet to face the tippity top of the NBA, and their only real East competitors, Detroit, took them out at home. Fine. Y'know what? They won 24 games last year. All year. 24! After watching that circus all season, I'm just fine with a cupcake padded win total. As I type this very sentence, the Celtics are doing an early beat down on the Houston Rockets. And I have dry skin. And it's ridiculously cold out.
Seems like part of the fun of getting older is focusing more and more on the future. Stuff five years ago I could not have cared less about. Health insurance, retirement funds, high blood pressure, watching what I eat, well, thinking about watching what I eat, all bored me. Why bother with that now? Put that off just a little bit longer.
Suddenly then is now. Now is here and now. I obviously need to rethink chugging a Sobe Adrenaline before writing. Our future as Boston sports fans is pretty rosy. Of all the pointless resolutions I can make, one that makes the most sense, and the one I have the best chance of keeping longer than eight minutes, is to not put off the future and enjoy this Pax Bostionia Era. And taunt Yankee fans.