It's good to be back, folks. I'd like to have some sort of interesting, highly detailed reason for my three-month hiatus, however there is nothing cool to report. Just lots of softball, lots of Pepsis, and possibly one strand of shoulder ligament left in my right shoulder. Oh, and I managed to mark the 30th anniversary of my time on this planet. Fairly uneventful. And, judging by the lack of emails and/or calls, it doesn't seem like I was missed all that much. Alas, that will not deter me from jumping back head first in the eSports pool.

When we last chatted, the Boston Red Sox had the best record in Major League Baseball. Unfortunately, no one seemed to care all that much because fellow spotlight hogs, the New England Patriots had just traded for "Moonin'" Randy Moss. This was the end of April. I said talk to me in September, when they actually play football games.

The Sox just took two of three this past weekend from the Seattle Mariners, and still hold the best record in MLB, but still can't get credit 'round these parts. Seems the Boston Celtics decided they had enough of being ignored by the locals. The youth movement wasn't progressing, and Paul Pierce wasn't getting younger, nor happier, with the losing, so Danny Ainge goes out and pillages the Minnesota Timberwolves for 10-time All Star power forward Kevin Garnett. Now everyone's talking finals. As in, NBA Finals. Conference Finals. Banner No. 17 hanging in the New Garden. Look, I love this move as much as the next dude, but again, talk to me when they start playing actual games. Right now there is only one team in town that matters, and things aren't looking so bad for the Sawks.

The Sox made their own trade noise before the July 31 deadline, bringing in former L.A. Dodger's closer Eric Gagne. What was already a solid bullpen became something of a SuperPen with Gagne's addition. Teams now have to go through Hideki Okajima and his 1.01 ERA, Gagne, then Jonathan Papelbon at the end of games now. That's just gross.

Gagne solved one of the Sox' needs, the other being an additional bat off the bench. Chicago's Jermaine Dye was a target, but a deal could not be made. In reality, any weakness on this team is splitting hairs at this point. The pitching is stacked. The bullpen is stupid good. The offense is just good enough to score more runs than the other team, which usually means good things. Barring injuries to anyone we really care about, they should be good to go down the stretch.

Looking at the rest of August, the Sox face the Los Angeles Angels of Orange County Choppers seven times, three in California and four back in Fenway. Other than that, they face no real competition, playing the Tampa Bay Devil Rays a bunch, then the team formerly known as the 2005 World Series champion Chicago White Sox. Throw in a series against Baltimore, and you've gotta like the Sox going into the end of the month showdown at the Bronx against the New York Yankees.

Strange how I've waited until now to mention the Bombers. Yes, I know the lead is seven games, a far cry from the 14-1/2 abomination they faced earlier this season. Yes, I know the New York Yankees aren't as bad as they played earlier. Yes, I never thought they would go away. But, as the kids say these days on the MTV, let's keep it real, yo. Following the All-Star break, the Yankees have played some pretty shoddy competition, and have done what they are supposed to do, which is win a lot. Fine, I'm dandy with that. Let them smoke the Royals, Rays, etc. So long as the Sox tread water, the AL East race might end by September 1st.

Therein lies the rub. Ten bucks says I just jinxed the Sox into an eight-game losing streak, leading to panic in the streets of Boston. I suppose that's part of the deal here, despite everything 2004 changed. You still never know. Well, you kinda, sorta hope you do. You kinda, sorta hope GM Theo Epstein, et al, are good at their jobs, and put together the kind of team that kind survive swoons and the occasional injury. So far, so good. And I swear to all that's holy, if they do lose eight or more in a row, I'm cutting my fingers off and forcing myself to type “I told you so” to myself with bloody stubs.

In other MLB news, Barry Bonds* hit number 755 Saturday night, a 2-1 meatball off of the San Diego Padres' Clay Hensley. Honestly, I'm still not sure Bud Selig knew he was actually at the game. Seriously, who slipped him a Quaalude in his Miller Lite? It's telling of how awkward this entire ascent has been for Bonds*, MLB, and all the fans.

Everything I've read and seen regarding the chase has been accompanied by either anger, or the indifferent Selig-esque blank stare. It makes one wonder, if one were inclined to wonder, how much different this would be had Bonds* been a nice guy throughout it. Of course, it's that arrogance that may have pushed him down BALCO Road all those years, and asterisked homers, ago. I watched 755 again, trying to figure out if I care one way or another about this mess. It seems like an alternate reality, like these are different homers he hits, and afterwards Hank Aaron will still be the true home run champion.

Alex Rodriguez hit his 500th homer this weekend, and people are waiting for him to come along and brush this Bonds mess under the rug as quickly as he can. Just make Barry and his enormous noggin go away, Alex. Is that how the most hallowed record in American sports is supposed to be broken? It's sad, really. Then again, so is Bonds*.