Beckham, Beckham, Beckham (and a dash of Spice)… Sam Mitchell has his toughest job ahead of him… Why Roger Clemens may be about to be hated in a FOURTH city… All this and more, as eSports columnist Conor McCreery puts his perfect NFL post-season picking record on the line...

Does it get any better than this? Here, have a Mai-Tai, and let's get started…

ONE: If John Thomson can develop the same public distaste for the New York Yankees as he has for the New York Mets, he could be the most popular fringe player in Toronto since "Motor City" Smitty toiled for the Buds.

But, really, was that attack on Paul LoDuca just beyond odd or what? Totally out of nowhere, I would love to know how Lo Duca responded.

What was even better was Thomson also trashed Cliff Floyd's outfield defense. Of course, Floyd no longer PLAYS for the Mets, so he wouldn't LIKELY be toiling behind Thomson had he pitched at Shea. But, still, I like the vitriol.

So, can we schedule the 'Jays and the Mets to play 10 straight games?

TWO: Speaking of those hated Yankees… Roger Clemens may be headed back to New York. Could this possibly also make him public enemy No. 1 in Houston as well?

It seemed impossible there for awhile. He went back home, was treated like a hero, pitched great (even though the Astros usually hit like a little league team and not any of the ones Danny Almonte was on), and the fans just ate it up.

Even though Clemens is hated in Boston, Toronto and New York (Mets fans only), the 'Stros faithful took to him strongly.

But, last year Roger took his sweet time deciding if he would play or not, perhaps costing the franchise a chance at the post-season (where Rogers would have sucked anyway) and now – more dithering – except apparently he's going back to the evil-empire when he finally (inevitably) decides to take another $20-million out of some rich dude's pocket.

So, while I don't think it'll be a pure "moment of malice" in Texas, when Clemens does scurry back under George Steinbrenner's leathery wings, I do think we'll see at least one www.houstonhatestherocket.com web- site (start virtual-squatting now kiddies).

ONE: Proof the David Beckham thing works. The office was talking about Toronto F.C.'s first overall pick in today's MLS draft, AND I am going to be writing an email to my friend Steph in New York to talk about whether this "Mo" Edu kid is any good.

He's a Terp, so as long as we keep him away from Lonny Baxter (…and you know firearms and the White House) we should be fine.

TWO: Shoot. I didn't think this out very well did I. TWO whole sections on soccer…..

Ummmm Posh Spice is hot?

Italian soccer is still undoubtedly corrupt?

Ronaldo will eat himself into the size of an Embraer 190 if he ever crosses the pond to play for the New York (ugh) Red Bulls…

(Come on people… Embraer is a Brazilian plane manufacturer -- that was really a very sophisticated joke)

And not a single Celtic fan has taken ANY satisfaction – none at all – that Rangers was knocked out of the Scottish cup by the WORST team in the Scottish Premiership (a team that apparently hadn't scored in umpteen games before shocking the Glasgow club 3-2). Nor are they digging their close to TWENTY point lead at the top of the table.

(Sorry what's that noise I hear? Oh, just a pint glass being used to conduct an emergency tracheotomy, since – clearly -- the Rangers lads are choking.

Helpful of those Celtic boys no?)

TWO AND A HALF: And given the last four or five sentences, my cover as a soccer agnostic is blown.

ONE: Now here comes the hardest part of Toronto Raptors coach Sam Mitchell's tenure.

The Raps are actually playing well for Mitchell. In fact, having seen them a lot this year, they actually look like a DECENT team.

This is a shocking turn of event for the long-suffering Dino's supporters. But, it's true, the Raps look competent. The Euro imports have brought a level of basketball intelligence to the team usually associated, with, you know "good" franchises.

And, Rasho Nestrovic has been an absolute God-send. He's the biggest reason nobody is really talking about for why the Raps succeeded when Bosh was out (or rather didn't collapse).

He's just such a smart defender. He handled quicker forwards like Kevin Garnett and Dwight Howard, he banged nicely with big guys like Chris Kaman. He steps up well on screens, and he does little things, like shuffle down a half step to take away the ball-handlers passing angle.

In short he's been a real gem.

Which is where Sam's challenge comes in? He needs to keep the Raps playing the way they were when Chris Bosh was out, namely unselfishly, with great passing.

When the Raps were on, they were a delight to watch. A clearly less-than-talented squad, that used smarts, guile, tough half-court defense (and yes, I can't believe I am writing this about a Mitchell coached Raptors team either) and a healthy dash of a confident TJ Ford to be competitive almost every night.

So Sam, HAS to keep that alive. He CAN'T let the Raps slide into a two-man (Bosh and TJ) sort of game. Only ONE team wins that way – and, well, Shaq is hurt. (I'm so adamant on this point I must CAPITALIZE random WORDS.)

The Raps need to keep it spread, need to keep the ball moving, they need to get Rasho his 22-25 minutes to anchor the interior, and to take advantage of his canny passing.

Then, in those times when they can't get to the hoop, or are forced into late-clock jumpers (the entire Chicago Bulls game), that's when you can pound it into Bosh. Still get Chris his 15-20 shots, but use that as the anvil, not the hammer.

(Ummm… yeah… I'm not even gonna TRY to explain that one)

But this will be a test for Mitchell. The Raps have the smarts now, and the interior D, to stack up against most NBA teams. They still can't really expect to beat the best of the best, unless everyone has a hot hand, but they can compete.

The expectations are higher, and Mitchell's temptation to run a few players into the ground will be sorely tested. But if he pulls this off, he'll probably still get replaced by Marc Ivaroni next year, but at least his resume will look better.

TWO: Despite the play of Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler (and for that matter Antawn Jamieson), I still think the Washington Wizards are out in the first round if they play a team that can really defend, or if they have to open on the road.

They ain't good outside of the MCI, (odd since most people kill to get out of the D.C. area) and while Arenas is truly MASSIVE, the Wiz have shown no ability to shut down an opponent. If that continues, they will simply have too many games where the opponent shoots in the low 50s, and you just can't win with that.

Unless you're the sixth seed and you're playing the Atlantic Division champ (but even then, depending who it is...)

ONE: Ok, so I was four-for-four in my round 1 NFL picks…

This week it gets ugly. If all four games were reversed I'd be VERY confident in prognosticating ability. But these match-ups… ugh, they all have big nasty IF/BUT signs hanging over then.

Sort of like a blind date "If my friend has good taste, this will be fine. BUT, IF he set me up with a high-maintenance girl, regardless of her sex appeal, this will go down in flames," which is ironic, because five years ago I would have reversed that sentence in its entirety.

OK, so on to the fun

EAGLES AT SAINTS: Agggghhh, come ON, this would be so easy if the Iggles were in Chi-town and the 'Hawks were in New Orleans…

Really this is the NFC Title game. The Eagles are smart, physical, can run (even with Brian Westbrook banged up a little), and Jeff Garcia continues to show why he's a winner. (I'm sort of laughing at these takes where Garcia is still seen by some as a fluke or a liability. People check the record books. Whenever Garcia has been on a good football team in ANY country, he's won -- Q.E.D.)

Still, it's the Saints, at home, with my personal MVP Drew Brees. And, the thunder and lighting running attack of Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush, plus a million big play receivers, and a "better than it gets credit for" defense.

While I think the Eagles could take this one, I said before the dance started, the Saints would win one game at home – and this, sir, is it.

SEAHAWKS VS. BEARS: The banged up, not every good Seattle Seahawks, vs. the fading badly in the second-half, Chicago Bears.

Note: A quarterback controversy involving the names Brian Griese and Rex Grossman does NOT put a rosy sheen on a team's Super Bowl hopes.

And, really that vaunted Bears D hasn't been quite so excellent down the stretch, giving up a combined 83 points against Tampa Bay, Detroit and Green Bay.

Meanwhile, the Seahawks were a legitimately good football team last year. I mean they probably should have won the Super-Bowl. And, yes, I know they escaped by the hair of their chiny-chin-chin last week against the 'Boyz. But wasn't that the sort of miraculous win that sets up one of those "fated to be here this week" features they do at the Super Bowl?

Well, no. The Hawks are hurting on both sides of the ball. And, if Grossman is not catastrophically bad, the Bears can win this.

Than again, Chicago has problems running the ball, which may force them to throw more than they want, and if Shaun Alexander can be effective and put the Bears down early, well, this gets real interesting.

Still I think the Bears defense will be hungry and motivated, they're at home, and really when you get down to it, all the 'Hawks just aren't THAT good. Bears win.

COLTS VS RAVENS: Actually this game I'm relatively confident with.

Colts...

Colts...

Colts...

They did a great job against Larry Johnson, they did a great job of attacking a weak K.C. pass-defense, and in doing so they recovered some of their swagger.

Now, of course the Ravens are a MUCH better defensive team than K.C. But let's not forget that all three of their losses came against teams that didn't even make the playoffs.

In fact the Ravens played only three teams who actually MADE the playoffs, and one of them was K.C.

So you can't say the Ravens have really been tested. They beat the Saints on the road – and that's impressive – but one big win does that a power-house make?

While we know the ground is key to beating the Colts, the Ravens had only six games in which a running back broke the 100 yards mark they ended up 25th in the NFL in rushing.

Also, I'm not of the "Steve McNair is a dead-man walking" camp. The fact is that "Air McNair" was a middling 14th in QB rating (sandwiched right between luminaries Jake Delhomme and David Carr).

Now its true you can win with great D and a QB who doesn't lose games for you, and McNair can do that in spades, as he could put up an 18 for 28 day with 210 yards passing, but 3 TD'S and a meaningless pick, and I wouldn't be shocked.

But, I wouldn't bet on it

Really I think Baltimore is over-rated, and I think the Colts are a better team than they're getting credit for right now. Every team has a rough patch -- the Colts just happened to have theirs at the end of the year (which tends to make people overly squeamish). Indy wins.

PATRIOTS VS CHARGERS: And than we come to the game that makes me squirm.

Again I think we have the AFC championship right here. I'd pick either of these two against the other semifinalists.

They both are tough hard-nosed teams with good to great defense. Both can put points on the board, but have some questions about receiver depth.

The Chargers have a game breaking running back, and a bit of a question mark behind the centre. The Pats have the great QB, but Corey Dillon is clearly slowing down.

But, the Pats have Bill Belichik coaching, the Chargers Marty Schottenheimer. And for those who think coaching doesn't matter, watch this game.

I have far more confidence in Belichik's ability to game-plan a way to make an already shaky Philip Rivers crumble, than I do in Schottenheimer's ability to get at Tom Brady.

Really the key here is -- do you think Rivers can play at a Pro Bowl level? If he can, the Chargers win. They're flat out better than the Patriots if Rivers is right. But, if not, as great as LaDanian Tomlinson is, the Pats have the D, and the coaching-smarts to keep him from winning this all by himself.

But, I don't think he will, which may mean the Chargers have to take some risks, do something imaginative. And, I don't know if Schottenheimer has that in him. He's known as being very conservative when the chips are down. In a way, he seems to coach not to lose, and I don't think you can knock out as professional a team as the Patriots playing that way.

So, I think I have to take New England.

TWO: Alright, before the NFL draft, before free-agency, before everything else, I'm gonna take my shot at a team that I think will take a big leap forward next year.

And, I hate to say this, but I think it could be the San Francisco 49'ers.

They have Frank Gore, who is officially the "best running back you've never heard of – but really you have."

They'll have a soft schedule (Seattle, St. Louis and Arizona will all be weak again, plus the Niners finished third in the division giving them an easier set of out of division opponents).

Alex Smith will be heading into the "year three -- I've finally figured out the speed of the league, and now I can make my plays" stage of his career. (I'm not saying Smith will be good per-se, but he might be, and he seems to have more or less gotten rid of the worst of  his bad habits)

And, after the Niners got smart and inserted guys like Brandon Moore into the defense, they actually had the athleticism to stop people.

Yes, they need a better number two option on receiver (Arnez Battle doesn't cut it), and yes on the other side of the field Antonio Bryant is one happy hour from running his career, but the Niners have some ability (Vernon Davis looks like a legit threat at tight end).

So , when you add a top pick, and some smart free-agency additions to the defense, well the Niners have the ability, and the likely cream-puff schedule (hopefully, no Cincinnati or Denver) to make some noise.

Right now, I think they can win the NFC West.

No, really!