The Madness has begun, and I'm not talking about the college basketball variety. The geniuses here at Culture Stew have decided to let Mike Long be broadcast over the public domain. After Rusty's embarrassing NASCAR-laden defeat, Long decided to challenge reigning PCP champion Dan Fagella to a battle, which will remind us of the epic struggle between Monmouth and Hampton for that elusive 64th seed, as they discuss NCAA darkhorses, the Brave's reign, and more.

Dan: OK Long, it will be nice to whoop somebody not named Rusty for a change. There's only one logical place to begin. With March Madness upon us, every year we have at least one Cinderella team hoping to make some risky gamblers happy (Editor's note: Culture Stew does not condone gambling, even if I did win over $200 in Vegas during March Madness last year). So who's your darkhorse this year? Pacific, Monmouth, or Davidson? Or are you crazy enough to pick somebody else?

Mike: Thanks for the welcome Dan. Let's make this domination short and sweet. I don't want anyone to think you are slow in the head like most of you east coasters are. My darkhorse team is none other than The Louisiana State University. This team is loaded. They have perhaps the best big man in the entire tournament in Big Baby Glen Davis. 18 points per game and 10 rebounds? He's a beast. LSU is the SEC regular season champions which is no easy feat. They are going to knock off Duke, yes I said it. Glen Davis will shut down Shelden Williams and super senior Darrel Mitchell will limit JJ Redick. LSU is making a run to the elite 8 and there's no stopping them! In fact there is no stopping me in Punt-Counterpunt. This isn't even fair. Who's your darkhorse? Uconn or Duke?

Dan: Picking a darkhorse for me was difficult. I had a couple requirements for darkhorse consideration. First, they have to be a four-seed or lower. Then I had to believe they'd make it past the 2nd round. That eliminated LSU. That's right, LSU is losing to Syracuse, assuming they even get past Iona. Gmac is going to bury them, and subsequently you. They're on a tear. But my darkhorse is going to a school with a large bird as a mascot. No, not the Monmouth Hawks, as tempting as that is, but the Boston College Eagles. This team's got size with Craig Smith. They have fast distributors with Tyrese Rice and Louis Hinnant. With Hinnant, they have deadly three-point ability (he shoots over 40%). Plus they've shown they can do it on the big stage after beating UNC and falling to Duke by two each time they played them. This time, though, they're not falling just short. They're taking down Pacific, then Nevada, and then, yes, Villanova, before my beloved Buckeyes go down and BC goes to the Final Four. You heard it here first (well, maybe you saw a couple on ESPN pick them first, but lets not get into semantics). The Eagles will be one of the last four standing.

Mike: First off, Syracuse is on a good run. Almost as good as last year's going into tournament. They won the Big East Tournament last year and lost in the FIRST ROUND! Syracuse is not going anywhere, in fact, they better watch out for Texas A&M. Who on Syracuse is going to stop Big Baby? The answer is no one. I'll preface the BC argument with this. I think they are a pretty good team but they got one of the worst draws in the tournament. They have to go all the way to Salt Lake City and play giant killer Pacific and IF they get by them they'll lose to Nevada. Craig Smith is pretty good but he's no Big Baby. And who are these other guys? BC has had no guard play all year! They are an inside out team with bad three-point shooting. FYI Dan, nearly every D1 team has a 40% three-point shooter on their team. What separates the good teams from the great teams is that the great teams have multiple threats. I only see one or maybe two for BC. They will lose in the second round. Speaking of losing, is this the year the Mets finally finish above the Phillies in the NL East? I think not but I thought I'd ask you.

Dan: Alright Long, 'dems be fightin' words. Before I get to your anti-Mets slander, let me just say that Big Baby will be crying almost as much as you will be when I'm through after they go down to the 'Cuse. This isn't last year's team. Gmac is on a mission. Back to the subject at hand though, I have to get this off my chest: The reign of the Brave is over. Tomahawk chops will be down roughly 68% this year. They've got a couple good starters and no legitimate closer. Plus they lost Furcal, team leader Julio Franco, and Larry Jones still goes by the name Chipper. You simply cannot win without a closer, or if your star player's name is Chipper. And don't get me started on the Phillies. They're an 85 win team, tops. The Beasts of the East will be the Mets. They've stolen Delgado, Wagner, and Lo Duca to shore up huge holes from inter-division teams, probably each the best at their position in the NL, at least top three. They've got their already solid core of Reyes who scored almost 100 runs with a mere .300 OBP which will undoubtedly go up, Beltran who had his first year NY jitters, Wright who batted .306 with 27 hrs and 102 RBIs in his first full season, Floyd who enjoyed a huge year, and a solid season is in the cards for Pedro who will be 100% by April, Glavine who decided to learn to throw the curve and resurrected his season with it, the always solid Trachsel, the young and coming Aaron Heilman who pitched a 1-hitter last year before dominating the 'pen, and some other guy we don't like to talk about. This is it, the Braves run stops at 14.

Mike: You make me laugh Dan. So teams can't win without closers? Who was the Braves closer last year when they WON the NL East? The answer is no one. They have an up and coming young guy in Chris Reitsma who could be the guy but it doesn't really matter. The Braves have one thing that the Mets can't buy. They have known nothing but winning. This team is full of winners. They've also been playing together a long time and it has been evidenced by the WBC that teams with great chemistry win, see Korea. The Mets never learn their lessons. Delgado, Wagner, and Lo Duca? Sounds a lot like Vaughn, Alomar, and Benitez. And I didn't know Julio Franco was a leader? Even if he was, the Braves still have Smoltz, the Jones Boys, and the best second baseman in the NL in Marcus Giles. Sure the Mets have some good young players but no one in baseball has the young guns like the Braves do. Franceour, Langerhans, McCann oh my!

Dan: How DARE you compare Delgado, Wagner, and Lo Duca to Vaughn, Alomar, and Benitez. I will not dignify that comparison with a response. The biggest loss for the Braves though wasn't even any of the players. It was Leo "I'm gonna rock back and forth to piss off every opposing team's fan whenever they show me on TV" Mazzone. They're not going to have these random pitchers like Jorge Sosa and John Thompson pretending that they're Roger Clemens or Greg Maddux. Yes, the Braves do have some good young talent, but Franceour's the only one who has the possibility of being elite. The other two are good, but that's where they top out. Los Mets de Omar Minaya have plenty chemistry to be able to win the East this year. But in the scheme of things, the NCAA Tournament and the beginning of the Major League Baseball season are not very important. The important thing is living. According to The 10 Spot on SI.com, The Las Vegas Wranglers, a Minor League hockey team, have decided to have a Dick Cheney Hunting Vest night where they hand out orange hunting vests that say "Don't shoot, I'm human." This begs the question, and since Culture Stew is more than just sports, would you feel safer going on a hunting expedition with the bat-eyed Dick Cheney or cruise around the city with 50 Cent and his crew?

Mike: I only have two more words on the Mets, LIMA TIME. Now to getting shot in the face. I would feel much safer with 50. GGGGGGGG- UNIT!!! The main reason is everyone always shoots at him. I figure I'd be safe because he's definitely proven he can take a bullet. Plus 50 will bust out his nine and shoot back. I don't see that old guy Cheney shot busting out some heat. I would be scared to death just eating with the Vice Pres. You never know when he'll trip over his respirator and stab you in the eye with his fork. You have fun drinking prune juice with Dick and I enjoy my time sipping on Crystal. Go shorty it's your birthday!

Dan: Granted, you won't get shot by 50. He'll have your back. That, however, has never stopped anybody from shooting at him and his gang before. He's got what? Eight gunshot wounds? Yeah, he can take a bullet, but there's no way that if one of those stray bullets that will undoubtedly fly towards your direction actually hits you that you're getting up. 50 will just leave you to die. Cheney, on the other hand, will at least shoot you by accident and it will probably be from shotgun pellets from a decent distance away where they just leave marks on your face. Plus Cheney has paramedics at his side at all times for his inevitable heart attack. You're looking at instant medical attention. With 50 you have to drag your bloodied self to the nearest hospital where you may or may not get immediate treatment. Plus I fear that if I say one more bad thing about anybody in the administration with a paper trail I may disappear.

Mike: Actually, 50 has a doctor in his crew. DR. DRE. He is a highly touted surgeon with mad rhymes. Anyways, who wants to be the guy shot by the Vice President? You'll always be known as that guy. If you get shot with 50 you'll most likely have a record out by the end of the week. Well I'm done with this. I have dominated Dan. In the words of the coolest guy on the planet, Snoop Dogg, I just dropped it like it's hot. Fo'shizzle. I almost feel bad for you Dan. Sorry for the embarrassment.

Dan: Long you remind me too much of Rusty, always touting Punt-Counterpunt victories that don't exist. Besides, I believe Dr. Dre's degree is in optometry so he won't be able to perform the necessary surgery (yes, I stole a Family Guy joke). Let's hope this Mike Long where the world can see him experiment goes well. Speaking of the world, I'll be in Australia for three weeks so I will be taking a Culture Stew hiatus. Maybe Long and Rusty can lose to each other in PCP V while I'm away. I'll be back to regulate the Culture Stew community in no time.

Questions, comments, or suggestions to get around Cheney and Co.'s wiretaps, feel free to email Dan or Mike at: Dan at dan@culturestew.com or e-mail Long at long@culturestew.com.

Article courtesy of Culture Stew (www.culturstew.com)